For The Heart I Once Had
by RultaProductions
Summary: COMPLETED!...the little being that was her whole world, was slipping away. As Yuffie's world crumbles down, the only hope she has left lies with the man she haven't talked to for 5 years... YuffieXReno R&R, please...
1. Prologue

**A//N; This is a story which will be divided in three parts: prologue, head story, epilogue. Everything should be completed before saturday. **

**Since I was so inspired by the song "For the heart I once had" by Nightwish, I decided to include the lyrics in the upcoming chapter. So I guess you could call it a songfic... hmm... my first one...**

**Dedication; This is for all those who have lost someone loved. Especially dedicated to the victims of the Jokela massacre, november 7th 2007, and those close to them... **

**Disclaimer; All I own here is the plot and my imagination...**

* * *

"ShinRa Headquarters. What can I do for ya?" 

"_Reno..."_

"Tifa?"

"_Yes, it's me."_

"Well, I'll be damned! Why're ya callin'? Wait, I'll pull ya through to the boss..."

"_Wait! It's you I'm calling for this time..."_

"Ain't that sweet! You finally lettin' me take ya out?" Reno hid his surprise behind his usual flirty manner.

"_No, Reno. I have a message from Yuffie."_

Yuffie. What she want with him? After all, she'd been avoiding him the last couple of years. _'5 years. She haven't talked to me for 5 years. What the fuck does she wanna talk about _now_?" _Not that he cared. Nope, he didn't give a shit about her.

"What she want?" He did nothing to hide his cynical attitude.

"_She... She needs to know your blood type."_

"My what?"

"_You heard me, Reno." _Tifa answered, carefully avoiding revealing too much. It wasn't her task to do so. It was Yuffie's.

"0 negative. _Why_?" He knew she was hiding something. You didn't just call people to ask about their medical records...

"_It's not up to me to tell. But I beg of you to come down here. You're our only hope." _And with that, she hung up on him.

'_What the hell was that about?' _Reno slammed the phone on the desk. Something sure was going on...

_You're our only hope..._

* * *

Life wasn't fair! 

Yuffie Kisaragi sat on the roof, watching the stars. She couldn't sleep. Or rather, she could, but she was too scared. Her exhausted body longed for rest. Her mind longed for rest.

Everytime she closed her eyes nightmares came to haunt her with the ruthless feeling that she was losing the war. She faught and faught and faught, but it would never be enough. The only reason for her to exist, the little being that was her whole world, was slipping away.

She only had one hope left, but she forced herself not to put too much trust in it. Reno never wanted a family. He had no reason to come for her rescue. _'Leviathan, he doesn't even know!'_

_You're my only hope..._

* * *


	2. For the heart I once had

**A//N; I'm sorry that I didn't update this yesterday, as I promised. But it was hard to put feelings so strong as these into word. I tried, but I know I'm no way near the reality... I did my best... Epilogue _will_ be updated tomorrow. **

**Dedication; This is for everyone that have lost someone close. Especially dedicated to the victims of the Jukela massacre November 7th, 2007 and those close to them...**

**Disclaimer: All I own here is Teylan, the plot and my imagination...**

* * *

He could see her from the chopper. She was sitting on the roof of 7th Heaven, staring far into the distance and with the first rays of light reaching her face. She didn't notice him flying by.

Reno parked the helicopter at the first clear spot he saw, blocking the entire primary road. It wasn't like he'd get a parking fine. He was a Turk. No one messed with him. He smirked and started to walk.At first, he wasn't going to come. He had nothing to see in Midgar. But that one thing that Tifa said really bugged him. _"You're our last hope." _It sent chills down his spine. And Reno didn't like feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't used to that. She'd made it sound like they were depending on him. Like he was needed.

But when had Yuffie Kisaragi ever needed him? She'd been happy to throw him away 5 years ago.

Despite every reason he could come up with that told him not to go, and they were many, he'd found himself taking off toward Midgar to see what the hell was going on.

* * *

"Yuffie?"

She glanced over her shoulder to see Cloud peek up through the roof hatch.

"Yeah?"

"Breakfast's ready."

He waited for her to answer. He had to make sure she listened, otherwise, she could sit up there for days. It was so hard to reach her. Sure, she ate and spoke when needed, but not much more than that. She spent as much time as she could with Teylan and when she wasn't with him, she'd sit upon a roof, shutting everyone out and just stare. Tifa had brought their concerns up with the hospital's therapist. _"Just because it's her way of preparing herself before... No! I don't want to think of it. We have to hope for the best..."_

"Yuffie."

"What? Oh... I'm coming..."

* * *

He was almost by the house when he saw the ambulance racing past him, almost causing him to fall to the ground in the draft.

He frowned. People only called for ambulances when something serious had happened. Something bad. And at that very moment, he had a _very_ bad feeling in his gut.

Reno picked up his pace and soon arrived at the manor. _'Holy shit! The place looks like a palace.' _He'd never been one for knocking so he just opened the front door and stepped in. And met chaos.

"What the...?"

Tifa was running down the stairs with a small bag in her hand. She didn't see him and almost passed him before she noticed the presence of his shocked figure. Stopping dead in her tracks, she spinned around on her heels and lunged towards him with tears streaming down her face. But she was smiling and that made Reno even more confused. Tifa didn't hug people just like that. She didn't cry either. Not with a smile on her face.

"Tifa." He said as he unwrapped her arms from him, for once serious and searchingly looking her in the eye. "What the hell is goin' on?"

She shook her head and grabbed his hand with her free one. "There's no time to explain, we have to hurry now."

As she tried to drag him towards the door, he dug his feet to the ground. She may be a master of martial arts, but not even Tifa could make him move if he didn't want to. And he wasn't going to move until she told him what was going on!

"Make time!"

"Please, Reno! You should talk about this with Yuffie. I'm not supposed to tell!"

"Well, Yuffie isn't here, is she?" Reno grabbed her arm to stop her from pulling. "So either ya tell me now, or I'm outta here..." He left the threat hanging in the air, knowing that Tifa wouldn't last long.

Soon enough, she lost the last remains of her self-control. Furiously, she started to pound him on his chest in despair. Desperate an exasperated.

"Y'know what?! You have a kid! He's 5 and he's _sick_! He's got leukaemia. He needs a bloodtransfusion and he needs it _now_! And _you're_ the only matching blood type! _That's _why!"

Reno stood dumbfounded. A million thoughts spinned in his head. None of them stayed for very long and especially not long enough for him to think them over. _'A kid... Son... Yuffie never told... Sick... Transfusion... Their only hope... Ambulance...' _Reno inhaled deeply, surpressing the panic. _'Fuck! The ambulance!' _He knew something was really wrong when he'd seen it! He wanted to beat himself up. He wanted to tear his own limbs apart and throw them away for being so fucking _stupid_!

* * *

**Heaven today is but a way**

**To a place I once called home**

**Heart of a child, one final sigh**

**As another love goes cold**

* * *

Slipping her fingers through her sleeping son's hair, she laid herself down beside him. He looked like an angel from above in the hospital's sterile environment.

Although she new that he could collapse without notice, she hadn't expected it to happen so soon. This was the first morning for a year that Teylan had woken up with a big smile on his face. And she was stupid enough to get her hopes up, to really believe that he was getting better against all odds, to think that she'd get to keep him for a little longer.

She should have known better than to ask the heavens for a miracle. The gods, or who ever were up there, must really hate her.

* * *

**Once my heart beat to the**

**Rhythm of the falling snow**

**Blackened below, the river now flow****s**

**A stream of molten virgin snow**

* * *

That wasn't her. That pale, worn and tired woman sleeping on a hospital bed with an even paler kid in her arms wasn't _Yuffie_! The Yuffie he knew was a cheeky, annoying, innocent, ever-grinning little brat.

"She's not the same person she was 5 years ago, you know. She's grown up now..." He winced when he heard Cloud's quiet voice behind him. Sighing, he turned around to face him.

"So... Who's gonna drain me on my blood?"

Cloud felt the relief wash over his body. He realized that he'd been holding his breath waiting for Reno's reactions. One could never really know what truly went one in that man's head. Watching the man before him, he saw no smirks, no arrogance in his eyes. He was totally drained of feelings.

"Come. I'll show you."

Leading Reno to a small room at the end of the corridor, he wondered what Yuffie would say when she found out that the father of her child actually came. After 5 years of no contact, he still wanted to help her. If it were any other girl, Cloud knew that Reno would act different. Sure he'd come help. But he had seen the way Reno looked at Yuffie, and he knew that he didn't do it only for the kid. He did it for _her_. Question was, did _Reno _know?

Reno closed his eyes to avoid glancing down at the needles on his arm. Needles made him remember the process of becoming a Soldier. And that wasn't a pleasant memory.

Instead, he focused on Yuffie. She'd betrayed him. If he was to become a father, she should have let him know! You don't keep secrets like that, damnit! And the rest of the fucking AVALANCHE were in on it. It looked like she lived with Cloud and Tifa, but everytime he'd been comin' over, she weren't there. And they'd said they didn't know where she was when he finally lost his patience and asked them. But there was no way she could have lived at the manor for very long. When he came to visit, there were no signs of baby-stuff and things like that. And that's things you can't hide. Not when he came unannounced.

'_No point __dwelling...' _He snorted inwardly. _'As soon as I'm done here, I'll find out. Even if I have to tie her down, I'll force the truth out of her lovely mouth.'_

Within an hour a nurse came to remove the needles, gave him a cookie and her phone number. She was a pretty girl and she was practically drooling over him, but for once, he wasn't interested in a one-night stand with some goodlookin' girl he didn't know. Not with Yuffie in the same building. In the same city.

* * *

She was still sleeping when Reno entered the room, but she had company. Sitting beside the bed was Vincent Valentine in his usual crimson garment. He had his red eyes locked on Yuffies face and that made him uncomfortable. You didn't stare like that unless you were more than friends. Reno stiffened at the thought. Were they more than friends?

He knew they were close. They always had been. And he was jealous. Jealous like hell!

Vincent turned his head as the Turk stepped in. He was just as uncomfortable with the encounter as Reno was. There stood the man who had forced a young girl to handle the challenge of becoming a mother on her own. She stood alone when her world came crashing down around her while _he_ was off to pick up a new girl for every night.

The only thing that held back Vincent's urge to kill the man who destroyed _his_ little Yuffie's life was the fact that _his_ blood could save the little boy he saw like his own son. _'How I wish Teylan was my son. Reno Chambers do not deserve the title 'father'...' _

The two men measured each other with their eyes.

"Reno."

"Vincent."

Vincent glanced at the small plaster on Reno's arm.

"You are finished with the blood-donation, I see..."

"Yeah..." Reno was vigilant. He didn't trust the ex-Turk.

"Then why don't you leave?" It wasn't a suggestion. It was an order.

"Why should I?"

Vincent's gaze hardened. "She's not the same girl any more. She is no longer of your 'screw around'-material, as I believe you would put it."

Reno had to spread out his fingers to stop himself from punching his opponent in the face. But he couldn't prevent stepping closer until their nosetips almost touched, not once breaking the eye contact.

"Ya think I saw her like that? _Did _ya?!" he hissed.

"Have you ever seen women in _any_ other way?"

"_Her_ I did! An' even if it's 5 years too late, _I'm_ gonna take care of my family now, so why don't you just _back _the hell _off_?!"

"You don't deserve them."

"An' you do? Ya're a fuckin' monster in disguise!"

"I can control it!"

They didn't notice the doctor stepping inside the room. "Excuse me, _gentlemen_." He shot annoyed glares at them. "But I will have to ask you to either calm down or leave. Young Teylan needs his rest."

The physician rushed past them and proceeded to the bed, laying his hand on Yuffie's shoulder to wake her up. "Ms Kisaragi? It's time for the bloodtransfusion now."

Her eyes swept across the room and widened in shock as they landed on Reno's rigid statue. She nodded and got up from the bed, leaning down to her son to whisper in his ear. She told him what the doctor was going to do and that she couldn't be with him this time. But she would wait for him when he was done.

Her son smiled as always. Even if it was weak, it was still genuine. And that broke her heart into smaller pieces than it already was crushed in. His eyes caught with the stranger in the room as a nurse pushed his bed to another room.

"Who you?" he asked curiously.

Reno smirked down at his son. "I'm your pops, kiddo."

* * *

"Reno..." Yuffie breathed. She earned a disappointed glare from Vince, but she ignored it. Reno was there. _'He came.' _Her storm dark eyes burned with tears. _'He really came!'_

The redheaded Turk rushed to her, but was cut short by Vincent stepping in the way. He watched Yuffie lay his hand on Valentine's arm in an attempt to calm him and he turned his back on Reno to face her.

"Vince, I have to talk to him..."

"No."

"Please!" She gave him the look she knew he could never resist.

Vincent sighed and kissed her on her forehead. The small gesture almost sent Reno into a fit of rage. "I'll be right outside, ok?"

"Ok."

* * *

**For the heart I'll never have**

**For the child forever gone**

**The music flows because it longs**

**For the heart I once had**

* * *

The unsaid questions filled the air, the tension so thich he could touch it. He stared at her back.

"Why?"

She took a deep breath. "Reno... I-..."

"5 years!" he snapped. "I didn't hear from you in 5 fuckin' years! Y'didn't even have the guts to leave a note, you just disappeared! You think I didn't notice? You think I didn't know it was because of me? Fuck you, Yuffie! I had the right to know!"

She whirled around. Tears ran down her face, her eyes filled of hurt and torment. "What was I supposed to do?! You said that Turks can't love! I was just another one night stand! You never wanted _me_! And you sure as hell didn't want a kid on your throat, don't tell me otherwise!"

Slowly, her yelling turned into a whisper. "I couldn't be so selfish, Reno... I-... I couldn't stand to know you'd hate me if I forced a family on you..."

"I wanted you!" he gripped her arms, shaking her slighty. "I _still_ want you!"

But she just shaked her head, refusing to look at him. "Don't..."

"Don't _what_?"

"Don't... Don't want me. When Teylan leaves, I'll die too..."

Her voice was so sad, but it still held that trademark determination that was her's. _'Fuck! She's givin' up...' _

"Don't say that! Y'hear me? He ain't gonna die!"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Reno..."

* * *

**Living today without a way**

**To understand the weight of the world**

**Faded and torn, old and forlorn**

**My weak and hoping heart**

* * *

It was another sleepless night for Reno. When had life become so complicated? _'Easy. Ever since I met her...' _He wasn't sure about the whole loving part, but he knew he cared about her. He knew that he wanted her to be safe and happy, and he wanted to give her all she ever wanted. Still, he couldn't give her any of that.

Yuffie allowed him to visit his son every day. It wasn't a pleasant surprise that she had lived together with Vincent all those years, but now he could at least make sure that nothing happened between the two old comrades that he didn't approve of by spending as much time as possible at the mansion.

He was glad that he got the chance to get to know his son. He cherished every second. He was a copy of his mother. Just as crazy and sweet and stubborn. When Reno watched him come into the living room every morning to play with his new dad, he lit up the whole room with his presence. Within a couple of days, they both acted like they'd known each other for an eternity. But the eternity was rapidly coming to an end. Teylan's body showed no signs of accepting the bloodtransfusion. He was getting weaker, more tired. He didn't smile as often as he used to.

Reno groaned, his face buried in the pillow. _'Shit! I need a smoke...' _He grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and stepped out on the balcony. Standing out there, smoking fag after fag, he suddenly froze. What if it was his smokin' that made Teylan sick? What if it was all _his_ fault the kid was dyin'?

With a flip of his fingers, he snatched the new-lit fag away from his mouth. If it was true, he didn't want their future children to die to. _'Future children? What the hell am I thinkin'?'_

* * *

**For the child, for the light**

**For the heart I once had**

**I'll believe and foresee**

**Everything I could ever be**

* * *

Suddenly, he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted everything, a house, a garden and a home. And most of all, he wanted Yuffie back. He wanted her to love him, to let him love her. And he wanted to give her half a dozen kids so she never had to be alone.

'Turks can't love.' He'd used that phrase like a mantra for so many years to avoid getting too involved. To prevent himself from hurting the people he might get to care about, who cared about him. _'Screw the mantra! Yuffie got under my skin anyway... And I want her to stay there.' _

He had never gotten dressed so quickly before. But it was a special occasion and he didn't feel like wasting more time than he already had. He rushed through the hotel lobby and started running as soon as he got out on the street. The dawn came as he ran to the other side of the city, lighting up his path. It was already 7 in the morning when he reached the Valentine mansion.

He stepped inside without knocking, as always. The house was quiet. Too quiet.

"Yuffie?"

Not a sound.

"Valentine?"

Still nothing.

He ran upstairs, checking every room. No one was home. Walking back to Teylan's room, he realized that the little emergency bag he had under his bed was gone. _'No!'_

* * *

**For the heart I'll never have**

**For the child forever gone**

**The music flows because it longs**

**For the heart I once had**

* * *

Yuffie stared her little boy. There was nothing more she could do. She hadn't done enough. She hadn't _been_ enough. She had turned herself inside out for the chance of keeping him just a while longer.

Reno hadn't answered her calls. _'Maybe he checked out before things got too emotional...'_ She couldn't blame him. No one should have to feel the pain she felt.

She could hear Teylans's weak heartbeats beeping from the monitor. She begged for them not to silence, but she knew that he wouldn't wake up this time. Time was up. She had to return her angel to the heavens.

* * *

Vincent stopped Reno outside the room, but Reno didn't hesitate this time. He just shoved him aside and threw the door open. Yuffie sat by the bed, not making a sound. Suddenly, the harsh realization of reality hit him. They where there to watch their son die. He was the Turk that had killed hundreds without any remorse, but when it came to witness his own flesh and blood drift away into the darkness, he couldn't handle that. There was no way of handling something like that!

Desperately trying to make contact with Yuffie, he shook her rigid frame.

"Yuffie! Don't just sit there! Make him wake up! _Yuffie_!" But she didn't listen to him. All she was aware of was the white, pale creature lying on a hospital bed for the last time. Somewhere, deep inside all that grief that tore her to pieces, was the weak, but burning feeling of relief. Her innocent Teylan didn't have to fight anymore, didn't have to hurt. _'But what about me? What will happen with me now?' _a voice whispered in her head, causing herself to let go of the numbness that had been her constant companion for a whole year. She lunged for her son, knowing that he drew his last breath at that very moment.

"Teylan!"

Reno didn't know what to do. He'd just watched her barriers crack, letting go of all the feelings she'd held back for so long. _'What am I gonna do? What the hell _can_ I do?' _Nothing. So he just stood there, cold and empty, never taking his eyes away from the mother and son in front of him.

Vincent must've heard Yuffie go frantic, since he slowly walked up to her. Carefully, he pulled her body backwards, away from the limp body on the bed. He lifted her up into his arms and whispered in her ear.

"Come on, Yuffie... I'm taking you home now."

"No..." she protested weakly, burying her face in the hollow of his neck.

"Sch..."

* * *

**Time will not heal a Dead B****oy's scars**

**Time will kill**

* * *

A month ago, trashing a hotel room would have been an action as good as another to help blow off some steam. But it wasn't a month ago. It was November 7th 2007 and Reno Chambers was a very lonely man. A lonely man standing in the middle of a hotel room, furniture smashed to pieces around him, crushed like his heart. Reno Chambers felt nothing but an aching, empty space inside of him.

* * *

She didn't notice his presence until he laid himself down on the bed beside her. Her tears had stopped flowing long ago and that was left of her was the sorrow of losing the one thing she could never have back. She'd held a heart in her hand once. A small, golden heart of a 5 year-old boy with dark hair and gray-green eyes full of laughing mischief. But her hand was empty now. All she had left was the memory of the happiest years of her life.

Reno clutched his arms around her waist and clinged himself tightly onto her lithe body. Resting his head on her chest, he allowed himself to cry for the baby they'd lost. He forced himself to say what was in his heart. It was something he'd never done before, but he was desperate.

"Don't do it, Yuffie. Please don't do it!"

Yuffie stroked his red strands away from his face so she could glance down into his frightened eyes.

"Do what?" she whispered.

"Don't die... You said-... You said that you'd die the day Teylan left, but I won't let you. I can't lose you too, Yuffie. Please, don't do it! I... I can't live without you..."

"Sch..." She tried to smile, but it was too soon. Instead, she started singing the old song she always sang to Teylan when he couldn't sleep.

* * *

"_Det är för oss _

_solen går upp_

_Lyser som guld_

_för kärlekens skull_

_Solen går upp_

_så oskuldsfull_

_Lyser på oss _

_för kärlekens skull…"_

* * *

Reno had never heard the song before and he didn't understand the language. But still, he knew it was beautiful. He knew it meant that she'd stay.

* * *

**A//N; Reviews would be very much appreciated...**


	3. Epilogue

**A//N; I know I promised to get the epilogue up yesterday, but school got in the way... Well it's here now. Read it. Review it. **

**Dedication; This is for all those who have lost someone loved. Especially dedicated to the victims of the Jokela massacre, november 7th 2007, and those close to them...**

**Disclaimer; All I own here is Teylan, the plot and my imagination...**

* * *

**One year later...**

Reno and Yuffie Chambers stood in front of their first-born son's grave. The year since he passed had been tough and the road to their now stable marriage was a rocky one. But they managed to pull it through all those months of grief and suffering. Life went on.

They had a new baby on the way. It took them a couple of months with doubts and argues to finally make the decision of wether they should try again or not. Reno wanted to give Yuffie more children. Children that would hopefully stay a little longer than Teylan had. Yuffie, on the other hand, had been hesitant. She didn't want a substitute. And she didn't want their next kid to feel like one either. That would have been selfish and wrong, for no one could ever replace the angel they'd borrowed.

Yuffie felt both amusement and annoyance when she thought of Reno's all but fair persuasion attempts. She could never resist him in the long run, and he knew that. But he had been so sensitive and caring that she couldn't be angry with him. She loved him too much. And as she stood there, him standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her swollen belly, she was thankful.

"I know you miss him..." he whispered in her ear. "I miss him too."

He knew she was scared. Scared that their unborn baby could die too. That it was their curse. He felt the same way, but he couldn't let those feelings show. She needed him to show her that they weren't out of hope.

"We gotta move on, Yuffs... For this little fella'..." He continued. His hands caressed her stomach and stopped when the baby kicked him right in the palm. He chuckled with delight and kissed her neck. "He's gonna be a handful. Just like the ass-kicking ninja-mother of his."

She smiled and leaned deeper into his embrace. "I'm just... It's just that I'm afraid I'll forget him if I let him go... That I'll wake up one morning and suddenly not remember his face when he smiled, cried or slept..."

"We won't forget him... That's impossible. I see him everyday. Everyday I look at you, I see a part of him in you..."

"I love you so much, Reno. Don't ever leave me...Please?"

Reno put his hands on Yuffie's shoulders and slowly turned her around so he could look deep into her eyes. "I'll never leave you. _Ever_." And he held as tightly as their new little baby allowed him to.

"Yuffie?"

"Yeah?"

"Sing that song again. The one you sang last year..."

His voice was so sad, so she closed her eyes and let her voice flow across the lonely graveyard as the long lost sun managed to break through the thick layer of clouds. The rays of light lit up the graves. And in the wind, one could almost hear the happy laughter of a 5 year-old boy called Teylan...

For the heart I'll never have  
For the child forever gone  
The music flows, because it longs  
For the heart I once had

* * *

**A//N;** **It's finished. Please review it... **


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